...and throw it to a straight man. I have nothing against gay guys (love ya) but Enrique has NO idea what to do with that thing...or the chi chi's it was previously covering (I say covering because it sure as hell wasn't holding them up)
ok so someone posted this as a bulletin on myspace and I think some of them are worth reading. Others, well just skip them if they aren't blue...unless you wanna read about how some girl "still loves him"...or someone threatening to commit suicide...or someone questioning his/her sexual preference...or some bitter chick/dude hating men/women....SNORE!
Pick an empty number from 1-200, add a secret, and repost! Nobody will ever know who's who! Don't judge others because we all have secrets!
1. I definitely have an eating disorder. sometimes it's bulimia, sometimes I don't eat for a few days at a time. 2. I ejaculated on my mom's tooth brush when she grounded me in the tenth grade... she never found out.
eewwwwwww! I'm sooooo glad I'm not this kids mom!!
3. I am 19 and ready to get married 4. I have Ovarian Cancer and I have known for 6 months. I had surgery to remove the ovary but my family thinks the surgery was just to remove a cyst. I refuse to do any Chemo...because I watched it kill my friend. I have not told anyone. I don't want my family to be scared. But I am. I don't want to leave my 2 children without any parents. I have been taking a new type of medicine and it makes me feel like crap everyday. I am in pain all the time and I try to hide that too. Please pray that God will let me live and be a mother to my babies. 5. Im falling for someone..but I cant get her to do the same. 6. I used to believe John Smith from Disney's Pocahontas was hot. 7. deep down inside, I know when they call me a slut, they're right. 8. I sometimes think I will be single forever...and it makes me depressed. 9. I love him more than he will ever know, she will never be as good to him as I was what makes her better than me... I just want him to came home but I know that will never happen now....I can't take anymore, and I am going to kill myself, so to all of you that will read this and figure it out, if you were/ are on eof my TRUE friends that have stood beside me through all this, know that I love you and am sorry for hurting you but I just can't do this anymore.... 10.I feel like I'm just going through the motions with you...and I've already found and lost the one for me. Also, #133 needs some serious counceling. 11. I hate my brother for being "better" than me no matter what. 12. 13. The biggest mistake of my life has been coming here to go to college, and not going farther away, even though I can't handle being away. And I deleted someone else's secret to put this one up. oops. 14. 15. I always used to think that the Disney character Aladdin was hot. 16. 17. 18. I wish guys would look at me as more then just a friend 19. My husband cheats on me.
yea, see number 201
20. I want to make his life miserable--like he has done mine!!! 21. I had a 3 some with one of my guy friends sister and a random guy we met at the bar. 22. I could be the best thing to ever happen to him if he gave me a chance. 23. I'm addicted to heroin
pete doherty is that you?? oh dreamboat!
23. sometimes I think I'll always be single, by choice. 24. I say I am not the jealous type but I really do get bothered when my man talks to other girls.. 25. i would love to get back together with my ex 26. He won't even talk to me now, and if he would just give me a chance, I would be the BEST thing that ever happened to him, and by the time he figures it out it will be too late. 27. I think I like him more than a friend...what has changed? 28. I always like the ones who never like me back. 29. Sometimes I worry that I'm not good for you and it freaks me out because I'm scared that you could be just as happy without me 30. I have spent 2 weekends with you and I have fallen in love with you. It is way to soon to tell you because you will just think I am crazy, but you are who I have looked for all my life! I want to spend forever with you! 31. I love her with my everything 32. I am jealous of everyone and everything around me. 33. 34. when I'm with my boyfriend and he touches, kisses, or holds me I pretend its you so I can get by 35. 36. You haven't lost your smile at all, it's right under your nose. You just forgot it was there :) 37. I have a love/hate relationship with masturbation. I was afraid to buy a vibrator, so I searched online looking for something I could buy at any drug store, and found a "personal massager". I bought it and I hide it in a Bebe bag in my closet.
UMM WHATS TO HATE!?
38. my parents abused me 39. 40.I slept with my husband's brother and I do not regret it. Fucker.
HAHAHA no regrets for her!fucker.
41. I'm jealous that you have someone treating you so well, and I have nobody. 42. one of my good friends is a back stabbing bitch. 43. 44. I think I'm in love with my best friend...we're both girls. 45. sometimes I wish my girlfriend's best friend would disappear 46. 47. I lie all the time. it's so bad, it's like no one knows the real me. NO ONE 48.me too. 49. Ok this is now my third secret! I love my sisters more than they will ever know. I would seriously kill someone if they ever hurt one of them! 50. this is his football number. I'll never forget your smile, that night. it was the most perfect thing i've ever seen. I want to see it again, I want to be yours; you don't know it yet. 51. 52. I really want to be an excotic dancer, but scared what people will think of me :) 53. 54. I smile all the time to make people stop worrying about me 55. 56. I lost the most important people in my life for the one I think I might love. 57. I dont know why I even like my boyfriend. 59. Me and my friends met these guys on July 4th, they worked out of town and were staying at the Best Western, we did have some good laughs. And last night they made me get out in my undewear in front of them. Nice meeting you guys, sorry i showed you my "granny panties". Have a good life, Josh, Bert, Ryan, Geroge, Travis and the rest of you guys 60. 61.I ate your choclate squirrel. 62. 63.I am so sick of having to pretend to be the strong one and everything is fine when really nothing is fine at all! But I would rather pretend then to have people lecture me! 64. I don't like peanuts 65. I don't either. 66. I'm so sad... so often. All I need is a sincere hug to make me smile. Oh yeah, and men suck! 67. I'm leading all three of them on and I won't even date any of them. 68. I have had sex with 68 men while cheating on my husband---But I want #69 to be special---any one available? I want my husband to watch!! (i use protection!!)
horny bitch!
69. I am sick of ALWAYS having to be the strong one!!! NO ONE knows how desperately I hurt on the inside, but to tell anyone the truth would make me feel like a failure!!! 70. I'm bisexual. 71. 72. 73. I love my husband but he is a very bad kisser, and he sucks at oral sex, so I cheat on him. sorry. 74. 75. 76. I have cancer and havent told anybody yet. 77. 78. 79. I really screwed you over, and I'm sorry. but now that you're talking shit about me behind my back, the only thing I want to do is ruin your life. 80. 81. 82. I wish I never gave him a second chance. 83. I lost my virginity to my exes best friend 84. 85. 86. We made a fake profile to hurt her feelings....................but shes really dumb. Sorry Krystal and Elisa....................NOT.BITCHES 87. 88. I'm 15 and I've never even held hands with a guy. 89. 90. If I really wanted to be with you right now, I would be. 91. 92. sometimes I'd rather be single 93. yeah, sometimes I'd rather be too. 94. 95. 96. I'm a virgin at 25... will sex ever happen? 97. I'm so tired of guys sweet talking me into stuff. 98. 99. 100. I'll never get over her, and I don't really want to. 101. 102. Sometimes his disconnection makes me feel unwanted. 103. I'm just with him to make you jealous....its not working so well is it? 104. 105.I cheated on my husband. 106. ME TOO 107. I would have gone further last night. 108. she is nothing more than a home wrecker and I hate her for it 109. I feel culpable every day of my life. 111. I would move there for you. all you'd have to do is ask. 112. Sometimes I Think I'm Gonna Be Alone Forever & It Suck's Ungodly. 113. I love you. But I want out. 114. My mom hits me. 115. 116. I'd kill her if I had the chance. just for taking you away from me. bitch. 117. 118. 119. I've filled in like 3 of these already. 120. I want him to stick around because I'm afraid to be alone. 121. 122. i feel like I killed my husband!!!!!!!!!! but i no i didnt 123. im lonely really lonely! 124. I think I might be bisexual. 125. I'm terribly lazy and I hate myself for it. I know what I need to do to change, but something inside me prevents me from doing it. Maybe I'm actually NOT good enough. 126. I'm scared that we're moving too fast for our age. 127. You weren't good in bed. 128. I don't think youre very good at kissing. 129. 130. I can't wait to have sex. 131. 132. EWW I hope i don't know # 133 SICKO 133. I secretly fantasize about children. I am an adult.
sick fuck.
134. 135. 136. I cheated on you. 137. 138. I'm so afraid what he thinks about the age difference.. I want him so bad 139. I have sex way to early in relationships. 140. 141. I get stoned all the time so I can forget how I really feel about the world 142. 143. I'm still hung-up on Andrew even though he ended our relationship 18 months ago... he says i'm his best friend and calls me every day, so how did he fall out of love with me? 144. I drink because it helps me forget. 145. please stop talking to me. just move on with your life. I can't take this push pull bullshit and wondering if things will ever happen. 146. 147. 148. 148. Whenever I see him sign on line, my heart still skips a beat. 149. I shaved my balls
I would hope so!
151. I really want to see you again. 152. I am not as strong as you think I am. 153. neither am I 154. I cant get over the fact that you lied to me, and I hold it against you. 155. I think women are better off without men. All they are needed for is their sperm, other then that they're good for nothing. 156. I think I am beautfiful and I can stare at my myspace pictures for hours.
well someones taking her self absorbedness to another level
157. 158. . 159. I really want to smoke but I can't. I'd lose friends and respect. 160. I have a crush on one of my Myspace friends 161. I'm really Grocho Marx. 162. 163. I dont eat for a few days at a time cause I think im fat. 164. I cheated first FOOL! 165. I still suck my thumb and i'm well past the age of 21 166. I'm not really pregnant. I'm just using it as an excuse to hide the weight I've gained from sitting around on my oversized ass eating funyuns and cookies.
hmmm I wonder who this mystery fat ass is!
167. 168. I hate my family, and I don't trust my best friend. 169. I wish I had never lost my virginity to you 170. me too 171. 172. I secretly hate one of my best friends. I refuse to hang out with her with other guys because she always ignores me and she KNOWS shes prettier than me. sometimes, I wish I could make her ugly. 173. 174. 175. I think I might be gay. It scares me, but also it excites me and makes me happy. It makes sense too. but I'm still not sure. I wish I had someone to tell 176. He hits me. 177. I'm a recovering heroin addict 178. I hate how all your pictures are with her when you promised them to be with me 179. 180. I wish things were how they used to be...when he still chose ME 181. I WANT TO PUSH OLD PEOPLE DOWN THAT WALK TOO SLOW IN THE MALL!!
ROTFLMAO!! OMG ME TOO!!!!!! LifeCall moment! youtube that shit!
182. I think I should be thinner, even though I'm stick thin to begin with.
EAT! u are a disgrace..wasting food! there are starving children in Conneticut!
183. I cheated on my boyfriend 184. I'm only 13 years old and I have been smoking for 3 years
move to europe! you'd be normal!
185. I want to marry him one day 186. I am not in love with my boyfriend anymore, not even happy with him but rather be with him then alone. 187. I started drinking and smoking when my parents got divorced. 188. I HAVE AN EATING DISOERDER AND IT'S KILLING ME.
your spelling errors will kill u!
189. I wish things could be how they used to be. When she still chose me. 190. Cigarettes make me feel beautiful.
but they make u look fug!
191. He almost beat the shit out of me homecoming night. I told everyone that its my own fault! I still a bruise from where he grabed me. I wish I could tell someone the truth. 192. I like girls that have curves :D
HOLLA!
193. I hate my boyfriend!!!!! 194. I'm afraid that, if I'm not with him...he'll be happier than when he was with me. 195. I want his best friend to hold me! # 69,92 and 113 work as well 196. I love you!!
I love me too!
197. sometimes I just dont give a fuck and I want to get wasted and high and bang you, but then I'm worried about guilt
if there was no such thing as guilt, we'd all be getting wasted, high, and banging people...or is that what we do already?
198. I licked a 9 volt battery for the taste
mmm tastes like chicken
199. I LOVE HUGE TITS MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD-ALEC HOLMES
Alec, call me!! I'm about to do a myspace search for u!
200. i may love him more then i think, and #133 your a sick fuck!!!!!!!! get some help before you hurt a child 201. When I was getting ready to break up with a boyfriend I lived with cause I found out he cheated on me but never said anything....I took his toothbrush and scrubbed the toilet with it....later that night I watched him brush his teeth....HAHA. Thats what you get when you fuck with a crazy italian girl. Love Jackie.
DOUBLE HIGH-5 FOR JACKIE!! next time the fucker cheats, try snowballing (definition by urbandictionary.com- when a man cums into a females mouth and then she spits it into the mans mouth) it's disgusting and I've never done that but I'm guessing it would piss the guy off!
I don't get to sleep in tomorrow because I have to head to NYC, but I'm still happy to get out of the office. I think taking 2 days off last week really did a number on me. Coming in early, skipping lunch, and leaving late didn't help the situation either.
so I FINALLY got a cup of coffee this morning for the 1st time in about a week! They had 2 coffee thingys. One said decaf (DENY!) and the other had no label. I opted for the unlabled one figuring it was regular. It tastes like...like...STUFF! lol it really doesn't matter how much sugar or flavored cream I had. it's STILL gross. caffeine is caffeine!
Fat ASS(literally) Cookie Monster finally announced that she is not fat from too many cookies (or Gods punishment to her for stealing my bag) as I had hoped. She's pregnant *gasp* with 6 alien babies.
let's hope........
-she has them well after February so my trip to PR isnt ruined
-there's a fly on the wall in the hospital room with a video camera as she endures the pain of giving birth (YOUTUBE!)
-all 9 babies shes pregnant with come out healthy and happy
-they don't come out with an extra tan *cough Diddy's secret love children with La Lopez*
-SOMEBODY doesn't pay her off and roll out (what?? i didn't name names)
-she keeps the baby weight
VIVA LA COOKIE MONSTER!!
umm does this mean we can't refer to her as La Virgen Lopez anymore??
Holy FUCK! If I don't get some coffee, I might just fucking KILL SOMEONE!! The only problem is that there is NO ONE around to kill because everyone is either off or running late or in a fucking meeting so I can't go for my coffee run. I guess if people were here, I wouldn't need to kill anyone because I'D HAVE MY GODDAMN COFFEE!!!
The next person isn't coming in until 10am. Do I look like I can fucking make it to 10am without coffee?!?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone, at night.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&! amp;^ C .... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chick. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off' - (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on) and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is another galloping horse. Both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? For the answer CLICK and DRAG your mouse from star to star. * Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round*
Good morninggggggggg!! Adam really needs to get his tush in here and make me a new layout.
I've decided that my life in Baltimore is sooooo insanely BORING!! I have nothing interesting to write about. Wake up, come to work....sit here doing nothing until 4:30pm...go home...watch tv...make/buy dinner...go to bed...BLAH BLAH BLAH! Atleast when I was in NYC, it was always an adventure. From seeing 82 year old men shop for groceries in a night gown and chandlier earrings to sitting in vomit on the train...ALWAYS EXCITEMENT! *sigh*
sexless in the city...the crappy city of Baltimore
I was reading Savage Love on Friday during my lunch break. It's this advice column about sex and relationships...okay mostly sex. It's the only good thing about the Baltimore's City Paper lately. I tried to use Baltimore's City Paper as a substitute for NYC's Village Voice and Baltimore's Examiner as a substitute for NYC's Metro paper but Baltimore just plain SUCKS! I do enjoy reading Savage Love though. Maybe it's just the kink in me...or maybe it's the lack of good reading material. I took off my rosary and threw it on the table to take away from the guilt I felt for reading such trash...not realizing that seeing it draped across the trashy paper was even worst than wearing it. So I'm reading this advice column written by Dan Savage while chewing around my partially cooked shrimp toast and getting aroused by the idea of some random stranger sharing details the same superhero fetish that I have...well ALMOST the same....and I starting thinking maybe I should have my own sexual advice column. Then I realized that you'd actually have to have sex to do such a thing. *sigh*
Cereal anyone?? lol It's Monday morning and this time change has me soooo well rested!
I'm in the mood to complain though. I've been really good lately because I was too exhausted to complain but the bus driver this morning really pissed me off. She totally rode right passed me. She's number 1 on my list!
posted by Preci at 
