| savage love |
 so I was reading my weekly scum in the City Paper over a very fattening lunch thinking "is this gonna be another boring week in the world of sleezy advice columns??"
ok so I only read ONE sleezy advice colum but whatever. last week was the biggest fucking snore fest since bible study when I was a kid
yes, I will burn in hell  but that's no surprise.
so I'm reading about some straight guy who wants to have a threesome with his girlfriend and another chick but doesn't know how to go about doing it. ok buddy, that's just about every straight man in the world. I was chewing my chicken cheese steak when I began to choke at what I read from Vicki Vantoch, author of The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three (who happened to be helping Dan Savage out with this week's advice). She said one of the couples she interviewed has threesomes with their kids kindergarten teacher. That's sick and hot at the same time. Am I sick for thinking that? Am I allowed to be talking about such things here because the other day someone left a comment calling this a family atmosphere or some shit. Anyway, it was fucking hot! I know that kid won't be failing any classes. I'd love to read that interview!! I need to have Elaine (my assistant...ok my pretend assistant who happens to be one of my alter egos but whatever) get Vicki Vantoch on the phone  so I can question her about that couple. I wanna buy the book now just to see if the full interview is in there. UGH, WHAT THE FUCK do I need a book about threesomes for when I can't even have a fucking TWOSOME!? My onesomes are even lame...more like lonesomes *sigh* 
I like to skip pass the boring shit in these sex issues and get right to the good stuff. My favorite bit of advice for this straight man wanting a threesome is when Vicki says:
"Try exploring threesome fantasies in the bedroom. If SHAG (the guy asking for advice) started telling his girlfriend about hot three-way action when she's really turned on, and he does it often enough, his girlfriend may develop a positive association between threesomes and orgams."
and then Dan Savage says "that or she'll dump your ass-but hey, no risk, no getting rimmed and blown at the same time."
How can you not love him!? 
Savage Love
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| 3 Comments: |
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CHICKEN cheese steak? Ewwww!! That's sacreligous. I'll have to take a pic of the real thing for you next week.
Signed,
Mrs. Rodriguez
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Like the new layout! You're a hot mess!
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Love the layout.
I had a (or an?) onesome this morning and it was yummy.
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Name: Preci
Home: Baltimore, Maryland, United States
About Me: mmmm...CAKE!!
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posted by Preci at 
CHICKEN cheese steak? Ewwww!! That's sacreligous. I'll have to take a pic of the real thing for you next week.
Signed,
Mrs. Rodriguez